A special blog for my friends and family,
Manifesting is my superpower. And yet, there are still moments in life that truly take my breath away. They steal my breath because I just didn’t see them coming! Maybe it’s because as a visionary I focus on the feeling I want to feel and I think about why I want to feel those feelings instead of only thinking about the tangible items I want to see/have. Of course I also do allow visions of my life to play out in my head like watching a movie on a screen, always asking for ‘this or something better’. But sometimes in life things happen as a direct reaction of someone else’s choices that you just don’t see coming, at least not until you’ve had the chance to sit back from a bird’s eye perspective and then you can say, “ohhh, yes, I see now”.
June 30th is when I got the start of the news that would place me in a position to choose my next path in this life. I received a text from my “boss”. I placed quotations around boss, because technically I am subcontracted. A little back story: I retired from my corporate career last year, 7.25.20 and started my subcontracted work for a woman who had two companies; one being SPARK Personal Growth Experiences. I officially became the Director of Operations on 8.1.19 after being involved with the company since September of 2018. Still subcontracted, but I worked solely for her, so I still thought of her in many ways as my boss. Back to my story. The text came in the midst of a vacation she was on, asking me if I could get together as soon as she returned home. The next morning, I received another text letting me know that she had just sent me an important email. I couldn’t wait to get into my inbox! Some more back story. She and I spent a LOT of time together over the past year… a ton of traveling… sleep overs… time spent dreaming about the future and all of the things we would do together through SPARK. With SPARK we facilitated Personal Growth experiences for women (masterminds, events, retreats, etc.) and created a beautiful, intimate, community of incredible women! During COVID some things had shifted, changes happened, and I felt the distance being put between us. But, just before she had left, we met up and sat by the riverside, talking about our future and the different possibilities that could be. So, when I opened my email I was preparing myself to read about a great idea that she had, as she was on a journey for clarity and had anticipated ideas/thoughts/visions to come to her. Well, that is exactly what I started reading, yet it was different than I could have expected. The email would be informing me that she no longer felt she could take SPARK any further, she was ready to walk away, and she wanted me to take over! A flood of emotions poured over me. Emotions on every level. I had feelings of gratitude & confusion. Happiness & sadness. I felt excited & I needed more information. But overall, I felt in such alignment – my soul screamed, “YES!”
Here is where things were a little, muddy. It wasn’t just stepping into the ultimate leadership role within her company… because, SPARK as a company would no longer be after October 2020 due to a trademark infringement. Things we had first discussed (things just being switched from her name to mine) quickly changed into me starting my own company. A new name (trademarking it) and building everything up from scratch (the techy stuff). The one thing that was staying, was our community. And, this brought me feelings of responsibility, appreciation, and gratitude. I felt more and more humbled with every supportive message I received from our community. The out-pour of love and excitement was more than I imagined. But, even with all of the love and support from our community, my friends, and my family… I still had so many emotions I was trying to process while needing to put my CEO hat on to ensure my business was being set up correctly. All of the ‘not-so-fun’ stuff like; implementing systems, crossing T’s and dotting I’s on legal paperwork, and answering a lot of questions– some that I could only answer with, “I am not sure at this moment”.
I have been holding space to hold the hearts of so many women who were also processing all of their emotions through this huge change. While grieving. While celebrating.
I decided to write this blog because I have had so many people ask what this has been like for me. I’ve been asked about how I feel, how I am dealing with everything, and what kind of leader I plan on being. Even she asked me on a group call to share my experience with all of this. So here I am, writing it all out.
Here is what I know. I know that while we cannot predict every single thing in our future, I am a visionary- a true to heart daydreamer and a manifesting queen, so I believe I have a huge part in creating my future and THIS- this company, leading this community, hosting events that bring connection, personal growth & sisterhood into the lives of so many women- THIS is what I will be doing with my life! This is my purpose, my passion, and my bliss! I am transparent, compassionate, and driven! I know that I am not the kind of leader who stands above you – we are all human, I will sit with you- beside you. I don’t crave the spotlight, but I will bravely stand in front of you and be of service to you. Having a growth mindset, I keep my thoughts positive, intentional, and purposeful 95% of the time… and I am very forward thinking. I started off this year wanting more clarity and in that pursuit I worked on my confidence, my self worth, and my ability to protect my energy with so much strength, while still being able to cultivate the energy to give to others! I am ambitious, determined, and possess a gentle heart. The foundation of my company is Personal Growth & Sisterhood. We are built on equality & celebration. I know that I can do this. I understand my strengths and see my growth opportunities and I know that everything is figureoutable. I am open to ideas, thoughts, and opinions from others & I know how to make up my own mind and I stand in my integrity – always. I BELIEVE in myself. I have trust in GUS (God, Universe, Source) and I understand the importance of being still each and everyday so that I can stay connected to who I am.
If you are still reading this, thank you sister. I will leave you with this. I have been through a lot in my lifetime. I have survived a lot throughout my life. I have experienced unimaginable pain. *deep breath* I have made it through all of my best days and my most challenging days (ps, so have you!) and I choose to believe that everything I have gone through has been what I needed to go through to be ready to walk into this next chapter in my life. I am ready!! If you are doubting me, just watch me, allow me to build up your trust. If you are on your own personal growth journey and you are ready to join a community that values sisterhood in its most purest, honest form- PLEASE go to https://.Syncquility.com and learn more about who we are and what we do! Yes, you can do it alone, but you don’t have to, and really, why would you want to?
With so much love and gratitude,