Recently, my daughter and I had one of those deep life discussions. One of those ones that are a little uncomfortable but completely necessary. Afterwards, I wondered about when I would have this conversation with my son; what would I say and how would it go. But then, I laughed as I realized that there was no way I could plan out the conversation, because, while the fundamentals of the conversation may be the same the feeling, the environment around us, his questions, those will all be different, and that difference will make the conversation entirely different and unique.
That is how parenting is, isn’t it? For me it is. I raise my children with the same fundamentals because I am raising two humans and I want both of them to grow into the very best humans they can possibly be. I want both of them to be strong, loving, and independent. I want both of them to live into their creativity, to believe in themselves and cherish their uniqueness. I want them to be compassionate, ambitious, and thoughtful. I want them to be openhearted, and open minded, and open their arms to help those around them. I want them to understand what value means. I won’t teach them about what religion to follow, or political party to vote for. Instead, I teach them to educate themselves, to trust their inner knowing, to do what feel right for them, and to never betray who they are in order to please someone else. I want them to feel their emotions, to speak their minds, and to create a life they are obsessed with.
I wasn’t one of those moms who read all the books, attended the classes, and participated in a ‘mommy’ group. I was 15 years old when I became pregnant. I was a high school dropout and I didn’t have a lot of support. I was trying to figure out how to be a teenager who was losing all of her friends, and learning how to write a check to pay for my rent. I was naive. I was young. I was lost. But, I knew one thing for sure.. I knew I wanted to show up for my daughter, I wanted to give her the best life I could, and I wanted to teach her about love and make sure she always felt protected. It took me years to figure out how to start being the best mom I could, and at that time I was becoming a mom of two. This is when I understood that while being a mom was the hardest, scariest, most difficult job I would ever have, I COULD really do this. Because, I just needed to do the best I could. I just needed to teach these two little humans how to show up for themselves and how to do the best that they could.
I am proud of the humans I have. I love them deeply. I love them so much I allow them to fail, to cry, to play, to be bored, to learn, to laugh, to love, and to learn lessons from their mistakes. And, they love me. They remind me that I have and am doing a great job when they help a stranger, hold space for one another, and show respect to those around them. When I ask them who they love the most and they say “Myself, just like you love yourself the most” I know I have done an extraordinary job.
I love being their mom.