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I’ve noticed when I am feeling extremely vulnerable, I blog

Food addiction is a real thing. A lot of people struggle with food addiction. I have struggled with food addiction. I used to have so much shame around my addiction to food. Mostly because, I was told that there was no such thing, that I just wanted to be lazy and eat and gain weight.

Food addiction looked like this: I would eat, all of the time. When I was sad, happy, confused, anxious, depressed, lonely, in a crowd, for celebration, for comfort, when I was hungry, and when I was so full “just one more bite.” When I wasn’t eating, I was thinking about food. I felt constant regret from what I was eating, how much I ate, when I ate, for literally any and all food consumption. I had so much self judgement.

I don’t remember exactly when I accepted that I was addicted to food. I was maybe 2009? Food consumed all of my thoughts. I have wasted so much energy thinking about food, eating food, and hating myself for not being able to stop. Weight gain is just ONE of the effects of food addiction. But, it’s what you cannot see physically that is the most painful effects, the longest lasting effects.

Through a lot of journaling, forgiveness, re-framing and self acceptance/self love I was able to get control over my addiction. I say get control and not quit because, it’s not like having an addiction to drugs or alcohol.. You can’t quit eating. You can quit eating certain food groups, of course, but you HAVE TO EAT TO LIVE.

With the impact of Covid 19 paired with the opening of my coaching practice, crafting an entire e-Course for Gratitude & Forgiveness, and becoming a teacher to my 11 year old, I started experiencing a lot of my old habits trying to make their way back in. I say trying but they didn’t just try. They succeed. Honestly, I was focused on so many things, that I allowed a lot of my self care practices to fall to the side. Once I noticed this. I had to accept it. Then, I had a choice.. Was I going to make some healthier choices, or was I going to keep on doing what I was. I want to strongly note that any weight gain going on was irrelevant. I have so much love and respect for my body just as it is! THIS ALONE WAS A JOURNEY, for another blog 😉 But, I needed to analyze my energy level, how my skin was looking, my mood towards others and myself and even my body odor. I knew right then, that I wanted to start making some positive changes.

Now, at this moment the “old me” would have shown up a lot differently than the “new me”

Old me- “You are so pathetic, look what you’ve done. You are weak and stupid”

New me- “I am feeling different, I am curious, I’m going to tap into my inner knowing, I am strong, resilient, and BEAUTIFUL, and I am worthy of feeling my absolute best!”

Old me- “Now I have to start all over”

New me- “I am excited to see how everything is going to shift for me!”

I am at a place where I have the time , space and energy to not only get back to making decisions that show myself love & respect but to really see what I am capable of with my physical health, which has been a goal of mine before that I was not ready to deliver on.

If you are battling food addiction, I want you to know that you are NOT alone. It’s not about making the best decisions, it’s about making better decisions and showing yourself patience, and forgiveness. Here are some of my practices: food journaling, drinking water when hungry to first ensure I am hydrated, asking myself specific Q’s etc.. “Am I hungry or bored?” “How will this food choice affect my mood and my body?” and re-framing my thoughts around food. Please show yourself RADICAL self love because you deserve that love!

PS: Pinterest is a great spot to snag some recipes that make you feel happy, healthy, and satisfied, from the inside/out

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